31. TALҠ

to … that gun that will replace your tongue William Blake. 

                                                                                   Nobody (Dead Man)

 

I need to talk. I am pretty much just like you. I have been doing the same things for years, but when I collected them enough and found that I had something to say, I was not able to express anything, I was not able to explain what I wanted to say all that time.

They said that I better not do it with my tongue. For years they taught me how to write, draw, move, and even how to play. They said that when I use these skills they gave to me, when I write or draw something, that makes it clear to them, like they are reading my thoughts in a language they can understand.

I asked them if what I am saying makes any sense? and they said, yes, it definitely makes sense and sometimes it is even makes a new sense, but its just they do not like a pure sense. Pure sense is artificial like purified water with no salts, no minerals, and no dirt. They said they want to receive sense like regular water, not clean, not purified, just like everything they have in their lives.

Meanwhile many previously critical things in my life became unimportant except probably only one thing. I still had to find a way to say what I have to say. Then, I met a person. People in his country called him Pir, others did not call him by any name at all. He said that people are born to be Gods and none one can judge them except themselves. They are born with a purpose, to process the whole world and own the whole world like a God. Man during his life comes down from the heavens to the earth step by step. All people during their life come down to the earth, from being a God to becoming something that is a most primitive creature to which they can get to.

Pir said that it does not really matter what you call this most primitive state that a human can reach during his life – mollusk, hydra, anemone, starfish, or amoeba, that it is all the same, and in fact, that it is the most advanced stage of the human mind at this time regarding the ability of human mind to digest the sense. He said that during our life we all come to this way of digestion of the sense of this world.

What does it mean? What is it ultimately that we all are doing? We are sucking the sense of this world around us into our mind to build our own world inside. Then, when we have our internal world completed we are ready to share it. He said that we always know when this world inside of us is completed because at that time it feels like there is a balance between the two worlds, the one that is still outside and the new one that is inside.

Before we reach that balance we use all our parts, our hands, legs, ears, nose, eyes, everything to learn and repeat all of the things we can understand and learn, and we use our tongue to ask. Pir said that our tongue has only one purpose – to ask questions and, if each of us will use our tongue for only that purpose, by itself, it will solve many problems.

As soon as we achieve the balance between the external and the new internal world, at that moment, life tears out our tongue from the throat. Then, we cannot speak even though most of us are trying to speak about their new world that we all have inside. No one can understand what we are saying. The only way to explain what we all have that deep is to use the same path, the path which we used to receive all of the materials to build this world inside, to use our hands, legs, ears, eyes, and all other parts, except our tongue.

He said that in a bigger sense which we all will understand much later, now we all are “hydras” and we have to eat the sense of the outside world to build our own world inside, and, then, we have to throw up what is left, the product of digestion of the sense, back through the same entry point or perhaps mouth. He said we may evolve to the stage where our digestive system will connect the world that is in front of us with another world that is behind us, but for now we cannot understand what the other “behind world” means.

In our time we have only one world outside and some of us have also a world inside, but we all are “hydras” regarding our role in understanding of this outside world and in making sense of this world. We eating the sense and spit back the products of our digestion using the same hole. “Hydra” is the ultimate stage of human being in our time, he said.

After a while I stopped talking to Pir. These things he explained were clear until he started to talk about other things that had no sense to me, but in what was clear to me I think he was right. Everyone I met since I met him, everyone who was able to deliver his sense to the other people and be understandable, they all used something other than their tongue.

People write, draw, play, move, make sculptures, structures of things, or even structures from the other people, and they use all of these ways as tools to deliver their sense, but they cannot deliver a pure sense. Pure truth has no sense and these people seems like know that. One of them said to me once that when he got a pure truth he lost its sense and since that time he is not looking for truth anymore he is just trying to make sense of it. I think he meant exactly the same as Pir. Even if they try to speak about what they have inside when they speak privately or in public it has almost no sense and whatever they say using their tongues, they still have to prove what they say by using their other body parts.

If we are not able to deliver our sense by using other parts and not our tongue, people do not believe us and do not see our sense. We have to prove that we can make something by our hands before we use our tongue to advertise our handwork. We may have been made that way, just like a hydra with one hole for all purposes regarding sense. I understand now what he meant by that “hole”. That “hole” means that all our body parts which we use to understand and to learn things and to express our new ideas back, we are using in the same way, though the same “hole”.  Somehow we cannot move sense in and make it stay this one way and we have to throw it up, throw it back the same way we got it. Apparently, there is somewhere where sense is supposed to go without going back. There is that “behind world” that he was talking about, that we may see one day.

Since then, I have started to see all people in a new way. It became clear to me that people are not doing things. They are not playing music, not writing, not drawing, not dancing, not making sculptures, or doing any other actions. These people who have a new world inside, a world they have to explain to the others, they do not do all these things. They talk. They use these ways to talk because these are the only ways by which they can talk about the worlds which they have been able to build inside of themselves. By talking they try to deliver the sense of their new internal worlds. Other people who do not talk but still do all these things, they are building their internal worlds and learning how to “talk” about them.

We think that we understand this new sense when we are reading, listening, watching what other people have done. We think it is clear, that it is something that gives us a new sense. We think that it helps us in making our internal world so we can do pretty much the same actions and pretty soon too. We are always thinking like that, like we are coming close, while we are reading books, listening music, watching dance. That feels so close to our new worlds, so close to being complete inside, but still that is someone else’s world. Our own worlds are still on their way.

We all understand that sense in different ways because it is not a pure sense. It goes inside of our mind the same way it goes out. We always have something else between our mind and this world outside. We have our digestive system of the sense that delivers sense into our mind, all these parts of our body are what we use to understand sense and to make sense. To move this stuff backwards and forward. These parts are not the same and that is why our digestive systems for sense are different. That is why whatever we digest has a different sense for each of us. All people who finally learn how to speak use all of the parts that they have. They have no choice. It is the only way we can talk.

Since then, I have tired to find my own way to speak with people. I used many different ways to explain what I have inside starting with the skills I have learned from them. I am not sure if that worked well and that is why I still want to try something new.

This is my new attempt. I am talking to you here in this place. I am using only the things that you already have in your mind and you do not need to learn more things to understand what I am saying…

That is

ME

 

I am sorry for interrupting but these are my words and even though there is no clear yours or mine here anymore I still want to use my power to redirect this intention. I am talking to you with the only things that you have. Everything that is here is inside of you already so you will not have trouble understanding what I say.

That is why I do not think you need me anymore. I am already here and I will be here with you forever, but you can talk to yourself and you have everything you need to address all of the questions that you have. Did I say so far anything new to you, anything that you didn’t know? That is right, you had all these things before.

It is the same about all of the other things you may still be curious about. They are all here in your mind. I can extract them from your mind and show them to you but now you can do it on your own. If you have enough drive to do that you can. If you were not able to do it, well, before that is just because you were not sure that it would work for you. Now you know it will work. What is even more important is that now you know a way and you know how that way will work for you. Knowing this you can make your next steps. You can extend this “stair” to any questions you have, in any direction you want. If you have enough drive.

I never asked you if you feel that you need a drive to continue making steps on your own. If this is just a matter of drive but not a strategy, then stay here for a while. There is something else you may want to see here. We went through many steps together and I want to stay with you longer because I love you and I need you, but I have to say that you do not need me anymore. I have been with you always we just never spoke like this before, but at some point we have to stop it. It just works that way. It always happens the same way and there is nothing that I can do about it.

You do not need me, you may need some drive or something else that only you know and only you can find an answer to.

Talk to yourself then and

I talk to you soon.

 NEXT U-STORY: ‘B<>X’